Thanks to everyone who has read my book so far. I’ve enjoyed all your feedback which has filled me with pride and optimism. I look forward to seeing my book in print and assure all of you who have read it that when the book goes to print, hopefully in 2015, you are all guaranteed a signed copy for posterity. Peace and prosperity to all in the New Year. X.
MY CHRISTMAS MESSAGE to young people everywhere. I love tigers and I love Polar bears too. Wild animals that can rip your head off with the flick of a paw. The majesty of these endangered beasts has inspired me to believe in God.
I also love Gorillas. The Spectacular power that is a full-grown gorilla makes me ponder the unanswerable. In a fight between a tiger, a polar bear and a gorilla, who would win? Could even God say with any certainty?
While you are tucking into your Christmas dinner, take a moment to think about that fight taking place in a concrete pit. Imagine the deafening noise as you reach for the bread sauce or pull your crackers.
Then later, while you’re opening your presents around a roaring fire, try to imagine what the noise would be like if you threw in an eighteen foot crocodile. The Loathsome rasp of a crocodile fighting a gorilla at the most wonderful time of the year.
Think about that this Christmas, while people everywhere are starving and war ravages the Middle East and you’re drinking yourself into a coma–resisting the privatisation of water.
Young people… and by that I mean anyone still reading this. If there’s another animal that you think should go in the pit this Christmas please take the time to tell us about it.
HOW LONG IS NEW YORK MINUTE ? Don Henley’s great song of the same name would tell us that some dude got out of bed, got dressed and then went and threw himself under a train in a New York Minute. So applying that to my memories of catching the morning train, in it , not under it, that would be about half an hour. So it’s long then, this New York minute? I could stuff a chicken and peel some spuds for roasting in a New York Minute. Or maybe it applies to the length of time the guy’s life took to go off the rails, thus compelling him to take drastic action. So that might be the blink of an eye. Okay, so that’s not long, so better not turn the oven on, just in case.
I once heard it was the length of time it took between a New York traffic light turning green and the taxi behind blowing his horn to get you to move. Which could be anything from a nano-second to thirty, depending on the asshole with the horn. So a new York minute is something that affects you and is beyond your control but exhorts you to act over an unspecified length of time. Change versus Time.
So I guess in Irish terms that would be like the force in Sinead O Connor’s head that tells her to change from a Punk Anarchist to a Roman Catholic priest to a Rastafarian Shaman to a Sinn Fein Candidate, over a couple of decades. Or—at the other end of the spectrum, it’s the length of time it takes Ray D’Arcy to tear the hands off approximately three thousand TV license payers to get his seat in RTE back.
Hope that helps.